Day 11
4am the alarm began blaring! My partner whispers my name and I respond. I'm ready, you get the lights. Like 2 marathon runners passing a baton we move with lightening speed, she to the light switch, me to ready the pulling back of sheets.
OH F**K!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I am not sure how much more of this I can personally STAND!!! I feel completely defeated, muscles hot from constant use, feet dry due to all the DE spread on the floor and basically no real sleep. When the sheets came back they tried to scatter. My Partner quickly moved to her side of the bed squishing the running for shelter midnight scourge. We began counting, 1, 2, 3, 4 then I lifted her pillow... NO WAY it was a BREEDER!!!! where in the hell are they coming from???!!!!
I checked the double sided carpet tape now on each leg of our antique, iron bed then on the upper portions near our head and feet. NOTHING.... ABSOLUTELY nothing on the TAPE... Where did they come from???!!!! I checked the cottage cheese containers holding each leg of the bed, all well in there and plenty of DE to kill anything trying to crawl into bed using legs as a ladder. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM???
Nothing to do, the bed is getting completely torn down again!!! What to do? I know they can hide in a place that is no larger of a gap then a piece of papers edge so where in the hell are they hiding? I decide that it must be the tiny, tight fitting gap where the ornamental portions of the bed are attached to the iron tubing. That must be it. OK so don't panic.... DON'T PANIC???!!!! I'm sleeping with bed bugs what do you mean DON'T PANIC. Way to late for that. The General in my head leading the attack upon theses invaders tried to calm me with a new plan of action which surely would bring complete defeat to the infidel rapists.
The bed torn down I open a window after learning from yesterdays hair event then opened a new bottle of 91% alcohol, pouring it into the sprayer, my eyes surveying every nook and cranny. By now a dust spec became suspect and was squished between finger nails whose polish was long gone. With all the cleaning how could it be a spec of dust? There is no dust left in this house, it is temporarily leaving with the bed bugs. Great news, that means any dust mites will meet the same ultimate demise as their friends. This brought a feeling of great joy to my heart raising my spirits to an all time high of the past few days.
The sprayer was emptied on the headboard rails and springs of the antique bed. Plug in the steamer and then go have some coffee, I thought, nothing moving here, nothing at all. I was disappointed that no bug tried to exit the tiny space where the ornamental panels meet the bed frame but that did not mean they were not in there.
About an hour later I returned to the scene of the crime, bucket of warm borax water in hand. The steamer was happily percolating and waiting for a joyous release of the pressure it had built up. I know that feeling and it is my great pleasure to help it with this need. Just push the little button and it screams with the joy of release. Yes, I love my steamer just about now. Everything that had been sprayed was steamed then washed, scrubbed with my trusty scrub brush and wiped down.
Now to wait for this to dry I think and headed downstairs for the Elmer's Glue! Yes it dries clear and it should plug up any hole that the enemy might want to hide in during the day! That will do the trick, I think. No Bugs in our bed tonight, I thought as a sleep deprived mind laughed hysterically at the possible folly of these days. The jury is still out it whispered!!! All this work and you might still have to call in the experts. Only 10 more days of the 3 weeks you have given yourself as a dead line. NO!!! Stop it mind... that is just the Bugs sending some telepathic mental warfare... Don't give up, don't give up. You can do this. You will do this! Die Bugs Die I sent back telepathically as I headed down the stairs to the basement changing out one of the endless loads of daily laundry.
Glue in hand I stepped over the now barren bed rails, shinny and possibly cleaner than they had been in decades. I looked fondly at the beautiful heart shaped box that held our personal toys and thought, this will make a nice stool. I sat on the beautiful red cloth covered box that we had not used in... goodness it must have been over a year since we got that out, took the time to play with our toys for a while. We must do that soon, a year is far too long. It just sits silently, under our bed, waiting for us to decide to bring out its contents in its beautiful red cloth covered, heart shaped box. I smiled at the memories while carefully applying the Elmer's Glue to every possible place a bug could climb into and wiping up drips as it ran toward the hardwood floor. Might need to refinish this floor after all of this? Not sure what effect the alcohol is going to have on the finish.
Finishing the last crack of the bed I sat there surveying the damage and wondered if this war zone would ever be the same. The words of the program Six Million Dollar Man came loudly announcing within my brain... "We will rebuild it, Faster, Stronger, Better!" Then another tiny voice, um have you checked inside the box you are sitting on? No way!!! No way would those little bastards DARE!!!
OH SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I screamed loudly enough for every neighbor in the hood to hear as the beautiful red, soft, heart shaped lid slid from its box. Yes it was tall enough that it barely fit under the bed and easy access for any bug wanting to climb to the top, hop onto the bed rail and then stealthily make its way into our freshly sterilized sheets for a nice hot meal compliments of our life blood.
What to do? What to do? The room spun as I snapped the lid firmly back onto the box with what seemed to be a thousand or so bugs scurrying inside to escape sunlight. This only confirmed my suspicions that these little Bastards were indeed a renegade troupe of vampires not adhering to the rule of being invited into a home before entering. Forgive me Edward, if that was you that I CRUSHED to smithereens laughing hysterically as the beautiful sound of pop/squish happened right before a tiny blood splatter on the sheet last night. I then reached for my team Jacob tee Shirt. Well if Bella is in this Box mourning the loss of her precious Edward, let me end her misery permanently, but how without lifting the lid of that box allowing the confined enemy free access to the room? No more suffering will you endure Bella, sweet Bella even your protective bubble will not keep you from the fate awaiting you. Now if I can just figure out how to do this without letting any of you escape.
The BATHTUB!!! YES! that is it and I can sit on the sidelines and watch!!! YES... it will be like becoming a spectator in the movie Gladiators! I moved quickly down the hall, steamer in hand then plugged in my best friend of the hour to the socket awaiting the now familiar hiss letting me know that it was ready. Put in the plug and turned on the water.... HOT ONLY!!! Nothing but HOT HOT HOT.... Hell is too good for these little Shits... Burn Baby burn!!!
The bathtub partially full of steaming water was now at the perfect readiness for my plan of attack. I stealthily lifted our beautiful, red, brocade covered, heart shaped box, holding it at full arms length in front of me, shhhhhh quiet now be gentle, don't let them suspect. The plan was coming into action now and I could almost see the glorious outcome. Rock a Bye Baby I crooned as we slowly traveled down the hallway. "Just a little bath my lovelies and you will sleep so much better for it", I whispered. I centered the box into the tub then dropped it from about 3 inches to watch as it disintegrated before my very eyes revealing the contents with BUGS scurrying to ride on top of the toys looking something like pornographic little boats. I took just a moment to assess all the battery cases now laying quietly on the bottom of the white, claw foot, porcelain tub. As I sat with the steamer in hand, gently wafting it over the steaming mess below it occurred to me just how much money lay in the bottom of the bath tub. Then I got REALLY MAD and ran more hot water into the tub screaming BURN you little bastards... BURN! Shortly after this I had a new thought. SHOPPING... YAY this could only mean a fun shopping trip in the future. Ohhhh how delightful.
When my partner called from work during her lunch period I had to give her the sad news about our toys. She took it all in her usual casual, quiet manner as I raged about how invasive these tyrants had been, how unfair life was that I, yes, I would get BED BUGS. They even created a colony the size of Texas in the inner secret most holy corners of our sanctuary. She just did her best to calm and reassure me gently, almost in a whisper (of course I'm not sure how many of her co workers were near) "it is ok, honey, I will take you shopping when all of this is over".
After reapplying a new layer of DE on all the bed rails, nooks and crannies of the springs we put the bed back together then completed our new daily ritual of submerging in a bleach/borax soak for 15 minutes. Laying between newly sanitized sheets I tickled my partners back while begging the Gods that we wake up to a bug free bed. Perhaps a little divine intervention was in order. I knew that whatever God those little rapists prayed too was an enemy of my own so it is on cosmically now as well as physically. Then I wiped away the tears as I thought of our precious toys now secured in an industrial thickness trash bag duct taped shut outside in the cold dumpster. Our precious beloved toys were now being treated like just another piece of garbage I wondered if perhaps we should have dug a hole in the back yard, had a small intimate (it would only fitting) service for them and erect a head stone. The headstone would read, "Here lies Buzz, he died with his batteries still on". Sigh As I fell asleep my face became hot and flushed as I envisioned one of the trash pickers who frequented our alley looking for aluminium cans opening that particular bag. Oh, how many ways can these little shits humiliate one person? Body and mind completely spent, emotionally drained I fell into dreamless sleep.
6/21/2013
4am the alarm began blaring! My partner whispers my name and I respond. I'm ready, you get the lights. Like 2 marathon runners passing a baton we move with lightening speed, she to the light switch, me to ready the pulling back of sheets.
OH F**K!!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!! I am not sure how much more of this I can personally STAND!!! I feel completely defeated, muscles hot from constant use, feet dry due to all the DE spread on the floor and basically no real sleep. When the sheets came back they tried to scatter. My Partner quickly moved to her side of the bed squishing the running for shelter midnight scourge. We began counting, 1, 2, 3, 4 then I lifted her pillow... NO WAY it was a BREEDER!!!! where in the hell are they coming from???!!!!
I checked the double sided carpet tape now on each leg of our antique, iron bed then on the upper portions near our head and feet. NOTHING.... ABSOLUTELY nothing on the TAPE... Where did they come from???!!!! I checked the cottage cheese containers holding each leg of the bed, all well in there and plenty of DE to kill anything trying to crawl into bed using legs as a ladder. WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM???
Nothing to do, the bed is getting completely torn down again!!! What to do? I know they can hide in a place that is no larger of a gap then a piece of papers edge so where in the hell are they hiding? I decide that it must be the tiny, tight fitting gap where the ornamental portions of the bed are attached to the iron tubing. That must be it. OK so don't panic.... DON'T PANIC???!!!! I'm sleeping with bed bugs what do you mean DON'T PANIC. Way to late for that. The General in my head leading the attack upon theses invaders tried to calm me with a new plan of action which surely would bring complete defeat to the infidel rapists.
The bed torn down I open a window after learning from yesterdays hair event then opened a new bottle of 91% alcohol, pouring it into the sprayer, my eyes surveying every nook and cranny. By now a dust spec became suspect and was squished between finger nails whose polish was long gone. With all the cleaning how could it be a spec of dust? There is no dust left in this house, it is temporarily leaving with the bed bugs. Great news, that means any dust mites will meet the same ultimate demise as their friends. This brought a feeling of great joy to my heart raising my spirits to an all time high of the past few days.
The sprayer was emptied on the headboard rails and springs of the antique bed. Plug in the steamer and then go have some coffee, I thought, nothing moving here, nothing at all. I was disappointed that no bug tried to exit the tiny space where the ornamental panels meet the bed frame but that did not mean they were not in there.
About an hour later I returned to the scene of the crime, bucket of warm borax water in hand. The steamer was happily percolating and waiting for a joyous release of the pressure it had built up. I know that feeling and it is my great pleasure to help it with this need. Just push the little button and it screams with the joy of release. Yes, I love my steamer just about now. Everything that had been sprayed was steamed then washed, scrubbed with my trusty scrub brush and wiped down.
Now to wait for this to dry I think and headed downstairs for the Elmer's Glue! Yes it dries clear and it should plug up any hole that the enemy might want to hide in during the day! That will do the trick, I think. No Bugs in our bed tonight, I thought as a sleep deprived mind laughed hysterically at the possible folly of these days. The jury is still out it whispered!!! All this work and you might still have to call in the experts. Only 10 more days of the 3 weeks you have given yourself as a dead line. NO!!! Stop it mind... that is just the Bugs sending some telepathic mental warfare... Don't give up, don't give up. You can do this. You will do this! Die Bugs Die I sent back telepathically as I headed down the stairs to the basement changing out one of the endless loads of daily laundry.
Glue in hand I stepped over the now barren bed rails, shinny and possibly cleaner than they had been in decades. I looked fondly at the beautiful heart shaped box that held our personal toys and thought, this will make a nice stool. I sat on the beautiful red cloth covered box that we had not used in... goodness it must have been over a year since we got that out, took the time to play with our toys for a while. We must do that soon, a year is far too long. It just sits silently, under our bed, waiting for us to decide to bring out its contents in its beautiful red cloth covered, heart shaped box. I smiled at the memories while carefully applying the Elmer's Glue to every possible place a bug could climb into and wiping up drips as it ran toward the hardwood floor. Might need to refinish this floor after all of this? Not sure what effect the alcohol is going to have on the finish.
Finishing the last crack of the bed I sat there surveying the damage and wondered if this war zone would ever be the same. The words of the program Six Million Dollar Man came loudly announcing within my brain... "We will rebuild it, Faster, Stronger, Better!" Then another tiny voice, um have you checked inside the box you are sitting on? No way!!! No way would those little bastards DARE!!!
OH SHIT!!! HOLY SHIT!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I screamed loudly enough for every neighbor in the hood to hear as the beautiful red, soft, heart shaped lid slid from its box. Yes it was tall enough that it barely fit under the bed and easy access for any bug wanting to climb to the top, hop onto the bed rail and then stealthily make its way into our freshly sterilized sheets for a nice hot meal compliments of our life blood.
What to do? What to do? The room spun as I snapped the lid firmly back onto the box with what seemed to be a thousand or so bugs scurrying inside to escape sunlight. This only confirmed my suspicions that these little Bastards were indeed a renegade troupe of vampires not adhering to the rule of being invited into a home before entering. Forgive me Edward, if that was you that I CRUSHED to smithereens laughing hysterically as the beautiful sound of pop/squish happened right before a tiny blood splatter on the sheet last night. I then reached for my team Jacob tee Shirt. Well if Bella is in this Box mourning the loss of her precious Edward, let me end her misery permanently, but how without lifting the lid of that box allowing the confined enemy free access to the room? No more suffering will you endure Bella, sweet Bella even your protective bubble will not keep you from the fate awaiting you. Now if I can just figure out how to do this without letting any of you escape.
The BATHTUB!!! YES! that is it and I can sit on the sidelines and watch!!! YES... it will be like becoming a spectator in the movie Gladiators! I moved quickly down the hall, steamer in hand then plugged in my best friend of the hour to the socket awaiting the now familiar hiss letting me know that it was ready. Put in the plug and turned on the water.... HOT ONLY!!! Nothing but HOT HOT HOT.... Hell is too good for these little Shits... Burn Baby burn!!!
The bathtub partially full of steaming water was now at the perfect readiness for my plan of attack. I stealthily lifted our beautiful, red, brocade covered, heart shaped box, holding it at full arms length in front of me, shhhhhh quiet now be gentle, don't let them suspect. The plan was coming into action now and I could almost see the glorious outcome. Rock a Bye Baby I crooned as we slowly traveled down the hallway. "Just a little bath my lovelies and you will sleep so much better for it", I whispered. I centered the box into the tub then dropped it from about 3 inches to watch as it disintegrated before my very eyes revealing the contents with BUGS scurrying to ride on top of the toys looking something like pornographic little boats. I took just a moment to assess all the battery cases now laying quietly on the bottom of the white, claw foot, porcelain tub. As I sat with the steamer in hand, gently wafting it over the steaming mess below it occurred to me just how much money lay in the bottom of the bath tub. Then I got REALLY MAD and ran more hot water into the tub screaming BURN you little bastards... BURN! Shortly after this I had a new thought. SHOPPING... YAY this could only mean a fun shopping trip in the future. Ohhhh how delightful.
When my partner called from work during her lunch period I had to give her the sad news about our toys. She took it all in her usual casual, quiet manner as I raged about how invasive these tyrants had been, how unfair life was that I, yes, I would get BED BUGS. They even created a colony the size of Texas in the inner secret most holy corners of our sanctuary. She just did her best to calm and reassure me gently, almost in a whisper (of course I'm not sure how many of her co workers were near) "it is ok, honey, I will take you shopping when all of this is over".
After reapplying a new layer of DE on all the bed rails, nooks and crannies of the springs we put the bed back together then completed our new daily ritual of submerging in a bleach/borax soak for 15 minutes. Laying between newly sanitized sheets I tickled my partners back while begging the Gods that we wake up to a bug free bed. Perhaps a little divine intervention was in order. I knew that whatever God those little rapists prayed too was an enemy of my own so it is on cosmically now as well as physically. Then I wiped away the tears as I thought of our precious toys now secured in an industrial thickness trash bag duct taped shut outside in the cold dumpster. Our precious beloved toys were now being treated like just another piece of garbage I wondered if perhaps we should have dug a hole in the back yard, had a small intimate (it would only fitting) service for them and erect a head stone. The headstone would read, "Here lies Buzz, he died with his batteries still on". Sigh As I fell asleep my face became hot and flushed as I envisioned one of the trash pickers who frequented our alley looking for aluminium cans opening that particular bag. Oh, how many ways can these little shits humiliate one person? Body and mind completely spent, emotionally drained I fell into dreamless sleep.
6/21/2013
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